Avoid unsupportive people and respect yourself

Why am I bitter? Hmmm… let’s see. I grew up in a family that had high expectations of me academically, but did nothing to support me. In fact, my dad’s job made things worse because I changed 8 different schools by the time I was 16. I was always behind in the class because I would start school half way through the year. And what did I get for that? “I never imagined I would ever be the parent of a failure”. Or “why don’t you work hard and top the class like you did when you were in 3rd grade?”.

You would think as a grown up, having graduated through college with good grades and getting accepted into a Ph.D. program at one of the best schools in the world would make your parents support you. Nope. I was talking to them today about how I made an important discovery that supports previous findings from my research. And what did I get? “What difference does supporting your findings make if you haven’t even submitted your paper for publication?”

I think I have had it with unsupportive jerks in my life. If you are in the same boat, think of all of your accomplishments. Think of how far you have come on your own and be proud. As for me, I have achieved a great deal on my own. I have worked hard and come up with brilliant ideas that have taken me this far. Sure there is more to learn…. but I still deserve dignity and respect for who I have made myself.

And so do you.

Unable

My sadness makes me drowsy,
My fears disrupt my sleep,
I walk around, a half-awake fool,
Unable to laugh, unable to weep.

I feel alone amidst the raging crowds,
Feel restless even though I am still,
I sit and stare, a clueless dolt,
As time moves ahead by its will.

I will not try to prove myself,
Or make a promise I cannot keep,
I shut myself off from the world,
Unable to laugh, and unable to weep.

Sweet irony

My sadness makes me drowsy,
My fears disrupt my sleep,
I walk around, a half-awake fool,
Unable to laugh and unable to weep.

I feel alone amidst the raging crowds,
Feel restless even though I am still,
I sit and stare, a clueless dolt,
As time moves ahead by its will.

I will not try to prove myself,
Or make a promise I cannot keep,
I shut myself off from the world,
Unable to laugh and unable to weep.